Why So Many Women Are Being Diagnosed with ADHD and Autism Later in Life

More women are being diagnosed with ADHD and autism in adulthood but why were they missed for so long? Let's talk masking, trauma, and the rise of AuDHD.

For decades, ADHD and autism were considered “male conditions.”

Research, diagnostic criteria, and public awareness largely centered around how boys presented: hyperactive, disruptive, socially obvious. But what happens when the presentation looks completely different?

What happens when it’s quieter?

More internal?

More masked?

This is the reality for countless women now discovering often in their 30s, 40s, and beyond that they are neurodivergent sometimes after being misunderstood and sometimes misdiagnosed with other conditions such as anxiety, borderline personality disorder, attachment issues etc.

And for many, it’s not just ADHD or autism.

It’s both.

This co-occurring experience, often referred to as AuDHD, is becoming increasingly recognized, yet remains widely misunderstood.

Why are so many women only being diagnosed now?

Historically, girls and women have been underdiagnosed because the diagnostic systems were built around male presentations (Craddock, 2024).

Many women learn early that being “too much” is unsafe.

So they adapt.

They mask.

They overcompensate.

They become the people-pleasers, the perfectionists, the overachievers, or the chronically overwhelmed.

On the outside, they may appear capable.

Inside, they may be carrying years of anxiety, burnout, depression, rejection sensitivity, sensory overload, and deep confusion about why life feels harder for them than it seems for everyone else.

This is one of the biggest reasons late-diagnosed ADHD in women and late autism diagnosis in women are increasing: awareness is finally catching up to lived experience (Chapman, 2023).

What is AuDHD?

AuDHD refers to having both autism and ADHD.

This dual neurotype creates a unique experience that is more than simply “autism plus ADHD.”

Think of it like this:

If autism is red and ADHD is blue, AuDHD is purple.

It creates its own distinct challenges, patterns, strengths, and internal contradictions. In my personal and clinical experience it is very diffierent in each person and cannot be generalized.

For example:

Wanting structure but struggling to maintain it.

Craving novelty but becoming overwhelmed by change.

Deeply needing solitude while also craving connection.

Hyperfocusing intensely while battling executive dysfunction challenges.

Wanting predictability but acting impulsively.

Many women describe living with AuDHD as feeling like they are constantly in paradox.

And because this experience hasn’t been widely represented in research or clinical spaces, many have spent years misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all (Craddock, 2024).

The hidden cost of masking neurodivergence

One of the most overlooked parts of neurodivergence in women is masking.

Masking means consciously or unconsciously suppressing natural traits to fit social expectations.

This might look like:

• Forcing eye contact

• Rehearsing conversations

• Copying social behaviors

• Hiding sensory discomfort

• Over-preparing to avoid mistakes

• Constantly monitoring how you’re perceived

Over time, masking can lead to:

• Chronic anxiety

• Identity confusion

• Emotional exhaustion

• Burnout

• Complex trauma

• Low self-worth

Many women come into therapy believing they are too sensitive,lazy,dramatic,or bad at life.

Often, these are internalized messages from years of living unsupported in a world not designed for their nervous system. The environment is the problem.

Why diagnosis can feel both validating and painful

Receiving an ADHD or autism diagnosis later in life can bring immense relief.

Finally, there’s an explanation.

A framework.

Language.

Self-understanding.

But it can also bring grief.

Grief for missed support.

Grief for years spent blaming yourself.

Grief for being misunderstood.

Many late-diagnosed women report revisiting their entire life story through a new lens.

Relationships.

School struggles.

Career burnout.

Friendship patterns.

Mental health.

Everything starts to make more sense.

This is why post-diagnosis support for neurodivergent women is just as important as the assessment itself.

Diagnosis is not the end of the journey.

For many, it’s the beginning.

When women are repeatedly treated for symptoms without understanding the root cause, healing can feel incomplete (Craddock, 2024).

This is where trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming care becomes essential.

Not “fixing.”

Understanding.

Supporting.

Adapting.

What needs to change?

We need better diagnostic systems.

We need clinicians trained in female presentations of autism and ADHD.

We need trauma-informed assessments.

We need support that looks beyond deficits and sees the whole person.

And we need to stop asking neurodivergent women to prove their struggle simply because they learned how to survive.

The truth is:

Many women were never “fine.”

They were coping.

There’s a difference.

And recognizing that difference can change everything.

If this resonates with you

If you’ve spent your life feeling different, overwhelmed, misunderstood, or exhausted from holding it all together, it may be worth exploring whether ADHD, autism, or AuDHD could be part of your story.

Understanding your neurotype can be deeply healing.

Not because it changes who you are.

But because it helps you stop fighting yourself.

And start understanding yourself instead.

Chapman, R. 2023. “Neurodiversity and the Concept of Pathology.” Paper Presented at It Takes All Kind of Minds (ITAKOM) Conference, Edinburgh, March 13-14.

Craddock, E. (2024). Raising the voices of AuDHD women and girls: exploring the co-occurring conditions of autism and ADHD. Disability & Society, 39(8), 2161–2165. https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2023.2299342